TEMPS AND TAXES

Pass on the 1099 Assignments!

Uncle Sam

If you’re wondering what difference it makes, W2 or 1099, the answer is lots! Sure, you’ll get a much larger check during that assignment with a 1099, because the employer will not withhold any taxes such as social security or unemployment insurance, but that can come back to bite you in the ass big time! Especially the longer you stay at the assignment while remaining, possibly, still eligible for unemployment insurance if you had been laid off from a previous employer. In addition, you’ll have to pay taxes on both sides, that of what your employer should have kicked-in, plus your share of self-employment taxes, and that can be crushing to an independent Official Temp building a new life. Also, as an independent contractor, you won’t be protected by workplace laws that prohibit discrimination, require payment of overtime, entitle you to worker’s compensation, ad infinitum.

So, while the temp-tation might be great for the bigger, instant pay-day, just don’t do it. It’s not worth the mess it will create.

Clawing your Way to the Top

Ladies and their Polish

Wednesday

Our friends over at Cosmo raised some very good points recently on nail polish colors for that dream job interview. The reader asked: “Can I wear any color polish into my interview?” The Official Temp answer? A resounding NO!

Everyone looks at your hands the minute they meet you, it’s like a second window into the soul after your eyes. Well, maybe third. Regardless, your nails need to look professional and most importantly, they need to look confident. Yes, confident nails! You should wear a color that is muted and won’t steal the focus away from your face, especially if you tend to talk with your hands, which everyone does. So selecting the right color is absolutely critical.

To be safe, go for a nude-ish pale pink shade, much like Essie’s Nail Polish in Lady Like. It’s fabulous and if it chips on your way to the interview, the person grabbing your hand at introduction in the lobby won’t be able to tell. And make sure the color is the same on EVERY finger. Don’t checkerboard here – this is not the time to entertain yourself or claim your individuality with various colors on each finger. And for the love of God, please don’t incorporate glitter, nail art, or any appliques whatsoever. They’ll think you’re a wildcard looking to throw a wrench into how they operate. Conformity, that’s what they’re looking for.

If you’re a nail biter, you have one life-saving option. Grab some short and natural looking falsies. They will get you through the hump, and hopefully if you leave them on, which we totally suggest, it will encourage you to stop biting your nails altogether, which you should.

Last: Length. An Agency rep wants to know that you can type and file with total gusto, without worrying about your nails, so if your nails are on the longer side of the scale, we say cut them down to a nice, professional length. And if you’re unsure what that is, ask your friends who are working.

Now, here’s to looking gorgeous and nailing that interview.

TIP OF THE WEEK

The Grass ain’t always Greener

Look, we’ve all had moments of lowering our standards to pay AT&T for our 2.9 G plan, literally accepting soul-crushing assignments, tasked to us by absolute trolls. Really, who hasn’t been forced into situations you swore on your life would never be you, only your landlord is sending you angry texts. So when it does become you, and you have to take that horrendous assignment, just remember some of your favorite celebrities have probably had it much worse in their own temporary employment endeavors. Much worse! And there’s nothing wrong with feeling a little superior if it eases the pain of the moment.

Johnny Depp – Sold pens by phone
Brad Pitt – Danced in a chicken suit in front of a fast food joint (but still rules)
John Hamm – Set designer for porn
Orlando Bloom – Pigeon catcher at shooting range
Ozzie Osbourne – Slaughterhouse (no lie)
Hugh Jackman – Clown (how little has changed)
Patrick Dempsey – Juggler
Danny DeVito – Barber (go figure)
Amy Adams – Hooters
Madonna – Dunkin Donuts

Brad Pitt

Your grass doesn’t look so bad, does it?